So we are 18 weeks pregnant and growing. All of the sudden I look down and there is this belly in front of me. I am loving the feeling of energy again and can tell that even though I am doing A LOT less than my norm I am doing a lot more than the first weeks. One thing that I will write about at a later time is the fact that I am not the weight lifting super pregnant wonder woman I always thought I would be. It is what it is and I am doing the best I can with the situation I am in and with the body that I have. This does not mean it is easy.
For today I wanted to talk about the beginning and the first trimester. Here goes…
At first I felt fine, just like myself. There was so much fear surrounding me though. I was afraid to move or make something “bad” happen. Having two miscarriages before does not really set you up for positive expectations. I was waiting for something bad to happen and so scared. This fear really stuck around until about week 12.
In the beginning I was SO hungry all of the sudden I was eating pizza and burgers (meat was SO good all of the sudden). J was at first excited to eat all of the “unhealthy” things that I would never have normally eaten but after a few weeks he was over it and asked for “lighter” dinners. I just needed food constantly. Also what used to be a meal was just a snack all of the sudden. I would need two eggs and toast and fruit and this is not normal for me. It was fun to “let go” of my eating expectations and just live a bit. Carbs and salt were the best, olives and pickles still taste like heaven.
I was worried and waiting for nausea to kick in, everyone was telling me once you feel sick you know the baby is sticking around. Even though I was falling asleep on the couch every night by 7:30 I still felt well, just hungry. Until about week 7-8; then it kicked in the off feeling that just sits in your tummy. I could tell that having food always helped and tried to eat small snacks constantly. Sometimes I could not go 1 our with out eating something. Saltines helped, but eggs and toast were amazing in the morning. I just felt drained all of the time, days were long and many times I had to nap on my lunch at work. Perfume smelled horrible to me and I really just wanted to be home on the couch. Not much movement or exercise on my part at all.
Things that helped:
*acupuncture weekly through 1st tri
*starting progesterone suppositories (not a fun way to take them but I think this was necessary for my body to hold onto the little ones)
*Not worrying about food and categorizing it as “good” or “bad”
*Meditating every morning to connect with the little life(s) in me, I love this and really believe it helped me with anxiety and fear
Next up: Weeks 11 and on (a scare and dealing with it)